I was hoping to be a little more active with my blog posts this year... instead, I have been putting all my energy into trying to produce. I have felt this huge weight to be creating. The weight leads to a debilitating stress, and then a lack of understanding about what it means to be productive.
In the past few weeks I have discovered (or perhaps re-discovered) the joy the process. It started about a month ago when I was faced with my 15 mile bike ride home, in the dark... on a not so bike friendly route. I was tired from my full work day, and not feeling much like peddling home. However, I had no choice. I began to refocus and redefine the task at hand. I decided that I didn't have to view the ride home as, "how fast can I commute home". If I chose, I could view it as an opportunity for a moonlit bike ride through the Napa Valley (oh yeah!). Something that was healthy, and potentially enjoyable. About 10 minutes into my ride a giant full moon began to show it self above the hills of Napa. Beautiful. It was like my little gift for redefining and refocusing.
I have found a similar gift in approaching my creative tasks (all tasks really). Attempting to let go of what I will "produce" has allowed me to savor the act of "producing". The result is better production, and more knowledge gained along the way. I can hear the questions in my head that lead me to better answers... the answers (and questions) that keep me right in the middle of the good stuff.